Erik

Had a word with Erik, seems he's thinking about leaving the ship too. He seems to think I didn't want him around, mainly I think due to the demotion as my XO, but he hinted there were other reasons too. Like I told him, it's the first time I've had the CO's job and I'm sure I've made more than a few mistakes in the last month or so.

I hope I've convinced him to stay, I genuinely think he'll enjoy the posting on the Equinox.

We'll have to see.

Deal and Loss

Finally had the meeting with the Lotorians for dealing with our tech in exchange for money, supplies and fuel. Money of course being the most useful, though we'll have to sort out whatever the local economy considers a bank and account. Even though it's mainly the technology in Tharsis' archives, I've organised that the benefits be given to the civilians though I expect we'll get our share. We need cash for supplies and fuel reserves. With that little nagging thing dealt with we can get on with exploring.

Dr Wright handed in her resignation (sort of) today, she's basing herself on Comorro. I feel like a member of the family has just died, I know we'll run into her a lot and she has some project with Tharsis on the go, but still, it won't be the same.

The former Battleclaw and I are building up a sort of correspondence relationship, PDA messages back and forth. I find that relationship... comforting for some reason. It's nice to know what he's thinking and good to know there's a level head out there I can talk to.

I'm going to miss the Doc, a lot.

New Crew

Again, a busy few days.

The former Battleclaw sent me a PDA message, which can be summarised as 'I'm too old and too tired'. It wasn't depressing, it wasn't complaining, it was thoughtful and insightful and I'm actually glad he told me what was on his mind. I replied with some similiar thoughts of my own, mainly dealing with... Him.

I've had a few conversations about this over the last few days, with Mr Pia and with Ms Amondella. I think her advice is probably the safest and sanest and most likely what I'll do. I'll just be myself. And if those who think their prophet has returned are disappointed then so be it. If I try to live up to a certain... I don't know how to explain it, but it's like if I go down /that/ road I'll lose /me/ into the insanity of trying to be somebody I'm not. More likely it'll be a warped idea of what my subconcious thinks that person is.

I've finally brought Chief Castus on board. His idea of flags, loyalties and his way of talking about Ground Ops and Security would make you think we had a full batallion. Instead there's just what's left of a Union Fleet on the Tharsis (and we've all sort of made peace with the fact we can't really call on that allegiance anymore, unless we ever find a way home), Chief Castus and his only subordinate. Still, he brings with him the IND Equinox, which will make a perfect scoutship for Erik.

Here's a summary of my idea for a crew roster as it stands.

Commander - Myself.
XO - Tharsis
Second Officer/Chief of Security - Lt. Commander Thorn
Navigation Officer, Pilot IND Equinox - Lt. (jg) Loken
Engineering - Lt. Kajiraxe
Medic/Liason Officer - Dr. Wright
2nd Medical Officer - Dr Brentworth
Security - Chief Castus and Co.

Busy weekend

Busy weekend and somewhat tricky as well.

I re-organised the crew a little bit, the biggest change being the promotion of Tharsis to XO. I still have to wait and see if he can cope with the position, and the decision was based partially on Erik's lack of leadership and also the fact the Tharsis IS the ship. And being sentient he's not keen on being ordered around by everyone. One leader he can handle it seems.

Erik didn't take his own demotion well and I can't really blame him. It's that old problem, what to do with a pilot on a ship that flies itself? We're looking into refitting one of Tharsis' holds as a flight bay and buying a small shuttle or fighter for him. It'd be something that'd make better use of his skills, but we still need to get hold of local credits for the purchase as well as establishing what a decent local ship would be.

The quarantine actually gave me and Tharsis a nice opportunity to speak with the former Battleclaw about providing the 50,000 odd refugees with some leadership. Unlike the last time I think we made some headway. I'm more hopeful than I was. I'll still hold off in getting involved in any Watch or Militia, we'll wait and see if the civilian government when it's formed calls for one.

We really need to organise a scout mission, we have limited fuel, but we really must find a new home.

Plan B

Well I can't even sell my crew on this idea of a militia, so switch to Plan B.

We're going exploring.

Meetings

Two meetings, both actually saying the opposite thing.

A couple of days ago Chief Castus came to talk about merging our two forces and organising a united military force. There's some strong arguments for the idea, mainly my thoughts about people with guns and military training running around unchecked. Running the idea around in my head I thought I should speak to the civilians. Former Battleclaw Silvereye Paintedheart is the main spokesman there and I had a meeting with him today.

He's against any form of interim government and any form of merged military or militia, he spoke about approving of a 'Watch'. Though the difference between a Watch to defend the refugees and a militia to me seems more a matter of semantics. It seems he believes we should just let people do their own thing, he doesn't disapprove of Norran's actions.

And Sirias looks up to this guy and practically lapped up his every word and agreeing with him on just about everything? People left to their own devices pull in so many different directions it's just chaos. We have governments, laws, police forces and militaries for a reason. Especially in times like this, people need order, rules, regulations, the comfort of knowing they're being looked after and people have a plan for the future. Not in a rag-tag 'let's see how it goes' way. I agree it's important to establish the necessities, the basics first. But a small government, council, spokesmen, however they're called would be able to organise that all the better.

Anything more permanent could be ratified when we find a more permanent settlement. I think Silvereye's approach is all wrong, but I'll go along with it, at least until it falls apart. I just hope no lives are lost.

Random Thought

Too much! Too soon! Too fast!

I feel like my head's going to explode.

I'm heading to my bunk.

Finding Our Place

I'm not sure the rest of the crew or even the other refugees entirely understand this quite yet. Crusades for justice and poking Comorra in the eye probably aren't the best way to go about things... not just yet. We're completely at the whim of this giant sentient station and we have no friends or allies yet in this 'Hiverspace'. So rushing in to save some fool who starts swinging his sword around isn't the best use of our resources or time. Still, everyone else seems quite keen on the idea, so I won't step in their way.

I need allies. I need information, I need to trade and I need to establish a reputation. The crew of the Tharsis are the best team I could ask for even if I had had a chance to hand-pick them before the mission. But we can't go it alone. Although if we had to, Tharsis himself is probably the best ship I could have. He made it across the galaxy on his own, he has years of experience exploring. I've served my time on a starship and only now do I realise how important my training as a quartermaster is going to be. That's probably what's defining my reaction to all of this. Before any unit can fight, it must have it's supply lines secured. And no-one from Our End has that as of yet. Progress is being made, but secured? No. Not yet.

I'm still processing the rest of the 'stuff'. I need to speak with some people, I need some questions answered. I have a certain curiousity about... I mean if this is what it's supposed to be, it's not happening how I was taught. I was taught He was supposed to return someday and lead us. Not that most of us really believed it any more, and those of us who knew about that little prophecy were based on Avalon. I'm Him? I don't feel like Him, I feel like me. But did He feel like Me?

This is going to drive me mad.

Awakened to the Madhouse.

I awoke two days ago. And I think I would have preferred to stay asleep to be honest. But... I'm the Commander of this little rag-tag crew and they're depending on me. Let me give you the rundown.

Tharsis

The only sentient starship I've /ever/ heard about, and I mean really sentient, not like Basil we had on the Versailles though maybe at a casual glance nobody would notice the difference. He's our host though fortunately he was press-ganged into the Union Fleet prior to this mission, so technically he's my subordinate. Helps just in terms of keeping things organised.

Erik Loken

I've known him since my time on the Versailles. Technically my XO, but he's young and yet to grow into that role. He's quiet, but one hell of a pilot.

The Doc

Allegedly an MD I think, specialising in cybernetics or something, but she seems to have a half-decent head on her and pretty good in at least a few other non-medical fields. I've heard her and Tharsis talking advanced physics.

Sirias

One of mine, again I've known her since the Versailles, and she's learning about the Grigorians, since her Father was one. She's a feisty ex-stripper and takes watching my back pretty damned serious. She was also Chief of Security on the Versailles, and I let her handle that stuff on the Tharsis too.

Lildrina

Quiet engineer, or at least she's quiet around me. She tends to hang out in Engineering on her ownsome mostly. Again, at least when I'm around.

The crew's been together the best part of a month, we'd been thrown together to poke the Rift at the behest of Union Fleet Command. And we should be grateful, it seems very few others from what I now refer to as 'My End' survived.

We've all lost people, it seems a few others from 'My End' survived. Been flung back here to the 2650s. Maybe a few others did, maybe everyone and everything did, just thrown around the space-time continuum willy-nilly. I don't know. I just know everything's gone. I suppose it's sort of fortunate my Mom died a couple of months ago, at least I was already dealing with that. But everyone and everything else is gone, from my brothers, to Majors. I don't think I've fully digested this yet. I don't think I've fully digested much of anything.

Oh and The Guardian popped in for tea last night with some other guy, a baby Tux who's a thousand years old actually though I never knew it. He was just Tux or Cat and he was always there, from when I was growing up. And according to a crazy nut of a girl, Mr Pia and a random DNA test, I'm the Founder Reincarnated. I felt like fainting again as I wrote that. I don't know I have a lot of thinking and digesting to do and my body's still in recovery from my little solo-time jaunt.

It's too much. But I'm the Commander, I'm the Founder. Too many people are counting on me.

Pull it together Sam. I will... but not right now.